healing after a break up could lead you to question yourself, what did I do, is their someone else he/she is interested in, or where did we go wrong? How will you know when you are done grieving? How will you know that it’s enough? How will you find out at all how you are feeling? How many times shall your heart be broken? How many times shall he/she be on the mend? Why do you feel as if your life is going to end when you go? Can you let your partner go?
Heartbreak makes you feel distress. It is painful of all pain, and yet we cannot find any wound on our body. You sit feeling sick to your stomach not wanting to eat and have problems sleeping. You just want to sit in sorrow. In these days after a break up, you still find yourself going over and over the memories you once shared and the fantasies like you and him/her will be forever, which actually make the feeling worse. You are not actually helping yourself if you are doing it. Nevertheless, time doesn’t stop from the time your heart was broken, it will continue to move forward. As such, you are as well to move forward. You see, one day, you get to a point of learning from the experience and you make yourself improved as a wonderfully made person. You move on because time forced you to do. You then realize that you are entering on the stage where you are standing on a cliff facing a big hole in front of you and then you get scared and decide to start over.
As they say, time heals all wounds. So, what should you do to start healing after a break up? With so much advice from families and friends, in the books and all over the internet, we are not able to choose what’s best.
Here are those helping points you can do:
– Let the relationship end. Accept from your heart that you just separated. Avoid any contact from your ex. Without seeing him/her in month or so will make the healing much easier. Give your ex space. Avoid sending text messages and emails and no secretly drive to his or her house. Try to be really gone so that he/she knows what it feels like to miss you.
– Relax and do something fun. Stay in active both physical and social activities. Make yourself physically involved with exercise since it doesn’t only keeps you in shape but also serve as a diversional activity to forget your ex. Getting socially involved with activities and to your families and friends are just so important because your support system will boost your confidence which makes it easier for you to heal such a broken heart.
– Pain is normal. Just do not allow the pain to control you and pull you down because it will make your healing harder. You can confide to your good friends and let it all cry. A hug and tap from them are somehow relieving.
– No matter how much pain you get, don’t resort to revenge. Don’t throw stones on their house nor scratch his/her car with a stone. That’s the most selfish and rebellious thing you can do. Remember, making revenge can give you a bad karma.
– Do the things you love. Planning for a short vacation can bring you delightful rays of sunshine and can help you think of positive things about yourself and your life.
– Healing takes place when you learn to forgive and forget. It is hard to do it immediately but the feeling of a light heart will give you happiness.
– Don’t waste your time blaming and focusing on your partner’s faults; instead, focus on what you can do to change yourself to become a better person.
A break up doesn’t need to be understood as it’s the end of the world. It is caused primarily by the end of the relationship. There are so many reasons why it ended because we fail to get a relationship we desire and we realize that we are in a relationship where love is all gone. No matter what the reasons are, we are human and we have given a natural way of dealing with these feelings. Maybe if we didn’t have it, the whole world would be mourning forever. Suffering is part of life’s experience and healing after a breakup should involve staying positive and realizing that no one will ever be perfect but you can try to be one by accepting the need to change and by becoming who you are.